The World's Dumbest Waiter

Our Year 3 prize winning entry into the 500 words competition:

The World’s Dumbest Waiter
Byron Capitano

Chapter 1
“The Queen must be by dead by the end of the week!”
“BUT HOW?”
‘We’ve got you a job in the palace kitchen, you start tomorrow. You figure out the rest.”
“BUT HOW?”
“But how is that all you can say? Just sort it by Friday.”

Chapter 2
The Palace

“Quiet please, let me introduce you to our new chef Dalesburgh. We have a very busy day with some very important guests and Thompson please don’t mess it up AGAIN.”
“OK I’ll try not to.”

“Thompson” yelled Dalesburgh.
‘This starter is ready, bring it immediately to her majesty and no one else”.
Thompson picked up the silver tray nervously.
“I musn’t drop this tray like last time,” he whispered anxiously. He walked down the corridor towards the great hall, the tray balanced on one hand.

“Looking good, looking good, nearly there!” muttered Thompson.
Out of nowhere, bolted one of the Queen’s Corgis heading straight towards Thompson. Before Thompson knew what had hit him the tray was on the floor, the contents spread all over. The guilty Corgi demolished the food greedily.
All of a sudden the Corgi started to run around in circles like a lunatic, doing some kind of doggy breakdancing. He then collapsed on the floor. When the vet had finished examining the Corgi he was still confused as to what had happened.

Dalesburgh was furious with Thompson
“You – You IDIOT! Are you the dumbest waiter in the world?’ he spat.
“I made that specially for the Queen and you ruined it!”
“I’m so sorry,” whimpered Thompson
“You will be” snarled Dalesburgh.
The next day Thompson arrived in the kitchen shakily. Dalesburgh was acting strangely hiding his ingredients in the bread cupboard. It was getting close to lunchtime and Thompson was filled with dread. Dalesburgh appeared from under the kitchen counter with two bowls of the Queen’s favourite pasta.
‘Thompson,” yelled Dalesburgh.
“Take this bowl of pasta to the Queen and if you drop it, it will be the last thing you ever drop”.
“What about the other bowl?” said Thompson
“None of your business that’s mine” growled Dalesburgh.
Thompson accidently picked up the wrong bowl of pasta and took it to the Queen. On his way back to the kitchen he heard a massive KABOOM!!!
He ran straight in and found Dalesburgh char grilled and security all around him.
“You, you FOOL you took the wrong boll of pasta to the Queen and left me with the one with a bomb in it.” Said Dalesburgh.
“And isn’t it a good job that I am the dumbest waiter in the world?”
‘NO” screamed Dalesburgh as they took him away to prison.

The Queen was so pleased that Thompson had saved her life that she decided to knight him.
“Thank you Your Majesty”
“No thank YOU Thompson”
“Would you like me to bring you your afternoon tea Your Majesty?”
“No Thompson I don’t think so, no doubt you will only drop it!”
“Yes Your Majesty you’re probably right “